Constant Fear of my Children Getting Hurt/Dying

2022.01.19 02:09 tinykate0620 Constant Fear of my Children Getting Hurt/Dying

I'm sure this is a touchy subject and I apologize - but my mind has been completely taken over by intrusive thoughts of my children getting hurt and/or dying. I can't sleep; I can barely function at night because that's when the thoughts occur the most.
I don't think these thoughts are just normal concerns about safety and they've absolutely gotten worse as time has passed. My kids are 7 and 2. My youngest recently had a febrile seizure and gets very, very sick every time he catches a bug. His fevers have gone up to 106 and he was hospitalized at that point until it came down. His pediatrician is showing little concern and doesn't even think he needs a full evaluation, so I'll probably be switching doctors. I've always had intrusive thoughts involving my children passing, but they've been so, so much worse since I held my 2 year old during an intense seizure. After it was all over, he kept saying "Mommy help me" and cried his eyes out. I'll never get any of the sounds or imagery out of my head.
Now, I take my son's temperature every morning and night, sick or not. I've decided to keep his video baby monitor in his room and frequently find myself zooming in on his chest to make sure he's breathing. The other morning, we awoke and when he came out of his room, he was covered in his own vomit. He didn't even seem to realize it. I still have no idea what happened, but I cleaned him up and disinfected his entire room. I called his doctor and she said it must've been a bad coughing fit, but I strongly believe I would've woken up to the sound of that.
I work an hour away from home and my husband is a truck driver, so I'm always terrified that something will happen while we're far away. The main problem I have is that these thoughts are so, so graphic and I can't stop them.
Just now, I had a complete anxiety attack and crying meltdown because I had an intrusive thought that my son was hospitalized with an unknown illness and we had to take him off life support. In that thought, I was screaming crying while staring at his lifeless body, and then I started crying for real. Then my brain was immediately washed over with the thought that if something happened to my babies, I would immediately take my own life as I would never recover from it. Ever. I know I wouldn't.
Other thoughts involve me attending my kids funeral(s), car accidents, school shootings, someone going crazy at my son's daycare, sudden unexplained death, and so many other crazy scenarios.
These thoughts are like involuntary daydreaming. Is this normal? Is there any way I can make them stop? It's like a constant nightmare playing over and over in my head and I can't take it anymore. Yes, I see a therapist, but my new work schedule doesn't allow me any time for an appointment. I also don't take depression/anxiety meds anymore as they interfere with my colon issues and make me feel sick. I've tried so many kinds. However, even on medication, these thoughts were still happening pretty often.
I can't keep doing this to myself. I don't get why my brain is forcing these thoughts on me. I just want to live one day without the CONSTANT fear of one of my children dying. Any advice or reassuring words? I greatly appreciate it.
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2022.01.19 02:09 Bot_Highlights I feel like this his should have put em down. Give us assassinations please. | /u/TRUSTYDOOM

I feel like this his should have put em down. Give us assassinations please. | TRUSTYDOOM submitted by Bot_Highlights to ApexVideos [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 pixeljammer eARC PCM Stream Question

I’ve got eARC running in to the LS50 IIw via latest-spec-available HDMI cable. Source is a 2019 Sony TV, fed by a 4k AppleTV.
There is a subwoofer attached to the KEFs.
Audio out from the tv is PCM.
Audio out from the AppleTV is stereo, because 5.1 makes the dialog disappear from the KEFs.
Am I losing anything by choosing “stereo”? Won’t the KEFs automatically handle the bass in this case?
Where is the 5.1 downmixed — or is it? Are the other three audio channels just discarded?
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2022.01.19 02:09 CReddit8205 Death, weakness, destruction, live ruined, corruption

We don't win anymore. The situation is worse than it has ever been before.
Continue this song from the election 2016 I dare you I'm not going to because it might trigger people
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2022.01.19 02:09 astra_of_life Tradcons are as anti-men as feminist .Don't let them fool you .

Tradcons are as anti-men as feminist .Don't let them fool you . submitted by astra_of_life to ProMaleMemes [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 xyzerb Fuck your way to freedum

Fuck your way to freedum submitted by xyzerb to PoliticalHumor [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 cascadian_redditor S̴̢͈p̨̛̄e̩̤ͯnͧ̃͢c̸̙̼ȩ͍̃r̵̘̐ ö̯͝n̜͐͢ a͚̎͘ s̵ͩ̊u̷̪̇n͉ͮͅnͣ͌̕ý͙̙ d̰̞͆à̲͝y̨͙̌.

S̴̢͈p̨̛̄e̩̤ͯnͧ̃͢c̸̙̼ȩ͍̃r̵̘̐ ö̯͝n̜͐͢ a͚̎͘ s̵ͩ̊u̷̪̇n͉ͮͅnͣ͌̕ý͙̙ d̰̞͆à̲͝y̨͙̌. submitted by cascadian_redditor to subreddit_simulacrum [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 KingNothingNZ Band tees

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2022.01.19 02:09 Elleck 2017 Season Nostalgia

Watching back some races from the past decade and for some reason the 2017 season feels extremely nostalgic to me. Is that the case for anyone else, and if so, does anyone have any idea why? I can’t remember anything particularly special about that year but the schemes, the way the cars look, drivers in particular cars, all just feels right to me. Just curious if anyone else experienced that when revisiting that season.
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2022.01.19 02:09 ANOTHRWAWY My (32M) ex (28F) started dating recently, and I thought I was emotional prepared...

Brief backstory. We were together for 9 years, married for 7, and had two beautiful babies. I had been emotional checked out for a very long time and was only in it for my kids. So when she asked me for the divorce I agreed without a second thought. The divorce process was very easy, we separated in June and by September our divorce was final, and I got custody of our kids.
Now ever since we separated she would often call or text me to vent, but I would never share my emotions because I felt fine, so I would only listen. She would often say she regretted her decisions among a lot of other things. Understandable.
Ever since our separation, my thoughts were always "she could start dating someone right now and I wouldn't care," but I obviously could not be more wrong. I just found out (through her) a day ago that she has been dating someone for about a month and a half now, and I just got flooded with so many emotions. I'm happy for her because I know she has gone through a lot during our divorce, but it hurts in a way I never expected. It also doesn't help that he's very good looking, well educated, successful, and just has a lot of good things going for him.
At this point, she and I could never be together again. Too much has happened, and each of our families pretty much think the other is the devil reincarnated, and we are both very family oriented.
I'm writing this on mobile and I'm incredibly emotional, so please excuse any grammatical errors.
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2022.01.19 02:09 SierraNP Hi everyone I’ve been struggling with mental health and was really close to committing suicide.

But… I so happened to right before doing so, find a post about Buddhism and how suicide is not a way to end suffering. I’m intrigued with Buddhism and want to learn more.
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2022.01.19 02:09 DeMur3 prisonnnnnn lolololool

prisonnnnnn lolololool
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2022.01.19 02:09 Bot_Highlights In my head: holy fuck, that was a pretty good clutch, imma cli- (also it was 3 am and i was tired, hence why the bad aim) | /u/fabrixxx

In my head: holy fuck, that was a pretty good clutch, imma cli- (also it was 3 am and i was tired, hence why the bad aim) | fabrixxx submitted by Bot_Highlights to ApexVideos [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 AgentIllusion73 How many of y'all find the combat easy/hard?

Funny enough, I've watched various folks' streams and uploads on Moonlighter, and noticed some folks are better at the game than others at navigating the dungeons safely and smoothly.
I also can't help but notice that bow is probably one of the most recommended weapons here, even though every weapon is pretty viable in this game.
So I'm mildly curious, how many of y'all find the combat easy or hard? What makes it so? What weapon(s) do you prefer to use?
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2022.01.19 02:09 DK64HD Possible strikers spoiler

Possible strikers spoiler submitted by DK64HD to Persona5 [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 jobsinanywhere Solana (SOL) Grafikler işliyor BOL KAZANÇLAR ! #SOL #SOLANA!

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2022.01.19 02:09 Bot_Highlights Being the kill leader with 70 dmgs feels illegal. Oh, we also won this match because the last squad died to the ring and I'm still the kill leader lmao . | /u/zirfia

Being the kill leader with 70 dmgs feels illegal. Oh, we also won this match because the last squad died to the ring and I'm still the kill leader lmao . | zirfia submitted by Bot_Highlights to ApexVideos [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 chortledetermined Sexy Marry Queen Analized By Nice Thick Dick

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2022.01.19 02:09 Irishluck233296 Our next charity voting poll will go live at 12pm PST tomorrow!

Will post links tomorrrow
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2022.01.19 02:09 Beginning_Oil2876 Deaths I’m hoping for in S6

I’m hoping Kim, Nacho, and Lalo all die in the final season. I’m also hoping for the deaths of Caldera, Ernesto, Oakley, ADA Ericsen, Omar, Howard Hamlin, Kevin Wachtel, Paige, Craig and Betsy Kettleman. I do hope that Rebecca, Cliff Main, Mr. X, Kristy Esposito, the idiot from the copy shop, Judge Munsinger, Rich Schweikart and Viola all live through the show, though.
The reason I’m hoping for all these deaths is that Breaking Bad was so good at killing characters. Many of my favorite scenes from Breaking Bad involved character deaths, and I really honestly think the one thing that could make BCS a little bit better than it already is is MORE deaths. I don’t want ALL the characters to die or anything, which is why I listed the characters I hope live, and I hope Jimmy makes it out alive in the end, but here’s to hoping for many more deaths.
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2022.01.19 02:09 Bot_Highlights 30-30 quip "Get down girl, go head get down" | /u/TRUSTYDOOM

30-30 quip submitted by Bot_Highlights to ApexVideos [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 asandip Show Member Item's Barcode and Description from Kit/Package

Show Member Item's Barcode and Description from Kit/Package Hello everyone,
I need help to retrive barcode on transaction saved search.
I have used formula to find if the item is Kit/package, and if it is then it shows member Item. But I am not able to achieve barcodes for the member items of kit/package. Is there a way to achieve this?
Many thanks for your help.
submitted by asandip to Netsuite [link] [comments]

2022.01.19 02:09 Lewdomasteroflewds [M/FB/Futa4AplayingF] 'Their blood is black, but their heart is not' - A Soul Eater RP

Crona Gorgon is many things. Top among them being my favorite character in Soul Eater by far, and maybe even just my favorite character in fiction over all. Everything about them just melts my heart and I would love to play as them! And seeing as I also adore a good romance roleplay, well........ Wanting to make a Crona x Maka (or CroMa if you wish to use ship names and all that stuff.) Is just natural! Honestly I am shocked and appalled that it took me this long in my roleplaying career to make this prompt lol.
So, I am assuming if you are still reading this you will know who Crona and Maka are, along with the basics of the world of Soul Eater, so I will not bore you with a retelling, and instead lay out a few ideas I had for this! Now, I was thinking that this roleplay would take place in the anike timeline, with maybe a few elements from the manga added in there every once and awhile for some extra story beats. BUT that is not to say that we have to stick to cannon! I am more then happy with doing something different!
Maybe Crona and Maka meet far more early then in cannon? Or maybe this universe has Maka forced to work under Medusa for one reason or another? If the former options are not up your style, then how does a world were instead of Asura getting sealed away, it was Lord Death who was defeated and sealed?
Nevertheless! No matter if you want to stick to cannon, use one of the other ideas I laid on the metaphoric table, or maybe you would like to come up with something totally new with me? Either way I would love to discuss more with you!
As you probably guessed, I would like this to be a mostly romance based, long term roleplay, but, if you are okay with it, some drama, action, and ERP elements would be cool too.
Anywho, thank you for reading all of this, I hope you all have a good day and that I will hear from you!
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2022.01.19 02:09 Karleney How to know if I have fi-te or ti-fe?

Trying to decide if I'm an ESTP with underdeveloped ti or ESFP with underdeveloped fi.

I think that's it. I dunno if people are gonna read this, I tried to make it more concise. Thanks for helping me if you do ending up replying, though.
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2022.01.19 02:09 GrapeSwishers ATCH OF STRAWBERRY, 1 moldy? rest bad?

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